So here I am...awake at 3:35 in the morning. Yes...wide awake. I have a ton going through my mind, my heart, my soul...
God is calling me...always calling me. And I waste time, waste time, and waste time. Nothing that should get done gets done. Yet here I am on the internet in the middle of the night. But oddly it's not wasted time tonight.
Tonight I got all musician searchy. I looked up tobyMac and dc Talk (for reasons I won't get into here). I looked up Audio Adrenaline, Mark Stuart, and Know Hope Collective. I looked up my old friend Jose, his former project Friday Mourning, his short-lived online project "Oh, Satellite..." I looked up his former bandmate Jim Wockenfuss. I looked up my buddy Jeff's project Forgotten Truth (which I'm listening to as I type this). Yup...been busy.
So much has occurred to me in all this. I hunger. I thirst. I need. I place so much effort in so very little that matters. I love my music. I love my band. But really...what will I do when that fades? I've been blessed to have Paging Samuel in some form for three years now. And never in my life has any music project fulfilled so much in me. The men...the brothers...the artists surrounding me astound me. They astound me as musicians...yes...absolutely. More importantly they astound me as Christian gentlemen...each in his own way.
But how long will God allow me this outlet? How long will these brothers be able to commit to our common goal? How long will I be able to write lyrics and melodies that matter to myself...but more so others? Only God knows for sure. But I'm so thankful for all He's allowed us to do to this point. If it ended tomorrow...I'd be ever thankful. But what would I do then? I've put so much focus into this...where does my treasure lie? Are my reasons where they should be?
How about I focus more on my wife and daughter...you know...my actual vocation? How about I get more involved in my parish...and bloom where I've been planted? How about getting back to the pro-life work of my younger days? It's time to balance things. Oh yes...I'll ride the band 'til it's run is over. But things need to be set aright.
Know Hope Collective's story is quite interesting. It made me think about my lofty aspirations for Paging Samuel...and the ministry we are really called to. Ministry isn't some lofty puffed up show. And if it is done even slightly well, it will minister not only to the "others"...but also to the one acting in ministry. It's so easy to want to make the music into something that fits in anywhere and everywhere...when it's Jesus Who should always be at the center. And if we don't fit in...oh well. We're not meant to. Of course, the reasons must be pure. So...God please take us as far as You want us to go!
Final thoughts: There are so many incredible artists no one has ever heard of (except for a few.) Some may not be to the "level" of many we've heard of...but they more than make up for it with heart, soul, passion, faith, and the Holy Spirit. That alone makes me want to hear them more than those many others. I so wish some of them were still making music for us to hear...and so thankful others still are. Below this are links to people referenced here. Read, listen, soak it in. Until next time...peace and all good!
www.tobymac.com
http://www.audioa.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Stuart_(musician)
http://knowhopecollective.com/
http://www.myspace.com/ohsatellite
http://www.myspace.com/jimwockenfussmusic
www.reverbnation.com/forgottentruth
www.reverbnation.com/pagingsamuel
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