I've been captivated by Dan Haseltine's blog www.danhaseltine.com this week. If you don't know who Dan Haseltine is...he's the frontman for my all-time favorite band Jars of Clay www.jarsofclay.com . I'm intrigued by Jars' new direction...which is essentially their original direction. I'm also intrigued by his different views on things...even if I disagree with a few of them. But what I've been liking a lot is when Dan re-visits a song he wrote, and puts a personal story to it. I thought I'd try my hand at that myself. So here's entry number 1.
I think I'll start with a Paging Samuel song called Marble Heart (I Need You ). Our original lead guitarist Vinny Blanche came up with the riff for this song. Vinny was always coming up with something new...and he was full of life. He loves Dave Matthews Band, and pretty much has a funky acoustic Jack Johnson vibe. So it was a regular thing for him to come in with some fun, new guitar part to work off of.
But what to write? Lyrics are always my thing. Not sure if it's mostly because I may be good at it, if I'm just a control freak...or maybe a little of both. Well...one thing's for sure. I'm really great at wanting to want to follow God. I certainly talk the talk. But walking the walk? I trip up constantly. I'm beyond lazy spiritually and otherwise. So I try...but not really. I know I need Jesus to pick me up and teach me...but equally...if not more...don't take the time to get to get to know Him.
Now, the original version was simply called "I Need You." Verse 2 said: "The time the time the time is near. My spirit can see it. It's not time not time to live in fear, but turn from our sin be watchful and ready. I wrote this based on my observations of the world we currently occupy. Too much is happening. So many things I consider "signs of the times" are taking place. No, I'm no expert...and I could always be wrong. But really...even if I am wrong...do people (myself included) realize how important these times are regardless? So much is at stake.
I changed it to its current lyrical content because my focus changed. Songs don't always stay the same...sometimes even after years. They are living, organic, wonderful (not cardboard) creatures. In this case, it was only a year or two. Thing is, we cry. We cry out loud. We cry in silence. We cry in our innermost depths...at times not even sensing or recognizing our own pain. Our souls cry out to God, even as the rest of who we are wrestles with that same God. We can become numb. But we must strive. We must try...and try...and try. No matter what it takes...we must try. We may have to to try to walk with broken legs, feet, or both. And we can't do it on our own. We need a strength we'll never find in ourselves.
I may have already shared this with you...but I have a severely poor prayer life. I mean, I know I should pray...and I do here and there. But overall? Yup...I suck at it. So my music is one way I really get to dive into praying. And this song is a prayer to be made whole...into who I've been created to be. Hopefully, it's that for the listener as well. That being said, songs are also quite good at being exactly what one person needs to hear...and exactly something different yet, just as necessary to another. Art is funny and amazing that way. I'd be interested to hear (or read) your thoughts on this song, and what it's words may mean to you. I'll end simply by sharing the lyrics.
I try I try I try so hard without really trying
I try I try I fall apart...consistently inconsistent
Take me off of my broken feet, Oh Love of mine
Take me off of my broken legs
Teach me how to walk with Yours
Hold onto me
Make me the man You made me to be
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
I cry I cry with a marble heart...no tears are flowing
I cry I cry I cry impart strength to do right to be watchful and ready
Take me off of my broken feet, Oh Love of mine
Take me off of my broken legs
Teach me how to walk with Yours
Hold onto me
Make me the man You made me to be
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
Hold onto me
Make me the man You made me to be
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
I need You I need You I need You You know I do
Monday, September 10, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
Late Night Insomnitations
So here I am...awake at 3:35 in the morning. Yes...wide awake. I have a ton going through my mind, my heart, my soul...
God is calling me...always calling me. And I waste time, waste time, and waste time. Nothing that should get done gets done. Yet here I am on the internet in the middle of the night. But oddly it's not wasted time tonight.
Tonight I got all musician searchy. I looked up tobyMac and dc Talk (for reasons I won't get into here). I looked up Audio Adrenaline, Mark Stuart, and Know Hope Collective. I looked up my old friend Jose, his former project Friday Mourning, his short-lived online project "Oh, Satellite..." I looked up his former bandmate Jim Wockenfuss. I looked up my buddy Jeff's project Forgotten Truth (which I'm listening to as I type this). Yup...been busy.
So much has occurred to me in all this. I hunger. I thirst. I need. I place so much effort in so very little that matters. I love my music. I love my band. But really...what will I do when that fades? I've been blessed to have Paging Samuel in some form for three years now. And never in my life has any music project fulfilled so much in me. The men...the brothers...the artists surrounding me astound me. They astound me as musicians...yes...absolutely. More importantly they astound me as Christian gentlemen...each in his own way.
But how long will God allow me this outlet? How long will these brothers be able to commit to our common goal? How long will I be able to write lyrics and melodies that matter to myself...but more so others? Only God knows for sure. But I'm so thankful for all He's allowed us to do to this point. If it ended tomorrow...I'd be ever thankful. But what would I do then? I've put so much focus into this...where does my treasure lie? Are my reasons where they should be?
How about I focus more on my wife and daughter...you know...my actual vocation? How about I get more involved in my parish...and bloom where I've been planted? How about getting back to the pro-life work of my younger days? It's time to balance things. Oh yes...I'll ride the band 'til it's run is over. But things need to be set aright.
Know Hope Collective's story is quite interesting. It made me think about my lofty aspirations for Paging Samuel...and the ministry we are really called to. Ministry isn't some lofty puffed up show. And if it is done even slightly well, it will minister not only to the "others"...but also to the one acting in ministry. It's so easy to want to make the music into something that fits in anywhere and everywhere...when it's Jesus Who should always be at the center. And if we don't fit in...oh well. We're not meant to. Of course, the reasons must be pure. So...God please take us as far as You want us to go!
Final thoughts: There are so many incredible artists no one has ever heard of (except for a few.) Some may not be to the "level" of many we've heard of...but they more than make up for it with heart, soul, passion, faith, and the Holy Spirit. That alone makes me want to hear them more than those many others. I so wish some of them were still making music for us to hear...and so thankful others still are. Below this are links to people referenced here. Read, listen, soak it in. Until next time...peace and all good!
www.tobymac.com
http://www.audioa.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Stuart_(musician)
http://knowhopecollective.com/
http://www.myspace.com/ohsatellite
http://www.myspace.com/jimwockenfussmusic
www.reverbnation.com/forgottentruth
www.reverbnation.com/pagingsamuel
God is calling me...always calling me. And I waste time, waste time, and waste time. Nothing that should get done gets done. Yet here I am on the internet in the middle of the night. But oddly it's not wasted time tonight.
Tonight I got all musician searchy. I looked up tobyMac and dc Talk (for reasons I won't get into here). I looked up Audio Adrenaline, Mark Stuart, and Know Hope Collective. I looked up my old friend Jose, his former project Friday Mourning, his short-lived online project "Oh, Satellite..." I looked up his former bandmate Jim Wockenfuss. I looked up my buddy Jeff's project Forgotten Truth (which I'm listening to as I type this). Yup...been busy.
So much has occurred to me in all this. I hunger. I thirst. I need. I place so much effort in so very little that matters. I love my music. I love my band. But really...what will I do when that fades? I've been blessed to have Paging Samuel in some form for three years now. And never in my life has any music project fulfilled so much in me. The men...the brothers...the artists surrounding me astound me. They astound me as musicians...yes...absolutely. More importantly they astound me as Christian gentlemen...each in his own way.
But how long will God allow me this outlet? How long will these brothers be able to commit to our common goal? How long will I be able to write lyrics and melodies that matter to myself...but more so others? Only God knows for sure. But I'm so thankful for all He's allowed us to do to this point. If it ended tomorrow...I'd be ever thankful. But what would I do then? I've put so much focus into this...where does my treasure lie? Are my reasons where they should be?
How about I focus more on my wife and daughter...you know...my actual vocation? How about I get more involved in my parish...and bloom where I've been planted? How about getting back to the pro-life work of my younger days? It's time to balance things. Oh yes...I'll ride the band 'til it's run is over. But things need to be set aright.
Know Hope Collective's story is quite interesting. It made me think about my lofty aspirations for Paging Samuel...and the ministry we are really called to. Ministry isn't some lofty puffed up show. And if it is done even slightly well, it will minister not only to the "others"...but also to the one acting in ministry. It's so easy to want to make the music into something that fits in anywhere and everywhere...when it's Jesus Who should always be at the center. And if we don't fit in...oh well. We're not meant to. Of course, the reasons must be pure. So...God please take us as far as You want us to go!
Final thoughts: There are so many incredible artists no one has ever heard of (except for a few.) Some may not be to the "level" of many we've heard of...but they more than make up for it with heart, soul, passion, faith, and the Holy Spirit. That alone makes me want to hear them more than those many others. I so wish some of them were still making music for us to hear...and so thankful others still are. Below this are links to people referenced here. Read, listen, soak it in. Until next time...peace and all good!
www.tobymac.com
http://www.audioa.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Stuart_(musician)
http://knowhopecollective.com/
http://www.myspace.com/ohsatellite
http://www.myspace.com/jimwockenfussmusic
www.reverbnation.com/forgottentruth
www.reverbnation.com/pagingsamuel
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